Surrogate

This is selfish
not surprising
a classless and arrogant articulation
my latest theory
of what we are

I dreamed of you last night
and for the first time
I remembered
the first I’ll begrudge to memory
at least

As vague as we are
it was you
because it had to be
my heart seeking safety
from its favorite salve

This time it hurt though
a rejection
in that thinest part of night
when the rumblings of conscious me
couldn’t extract an us

I keep wondering if we’ll talk
then we do
and I can go back to wondering
back to this fresh wound
of my own making

It isn’t clean
because it’s mutual
or was
a love I was too happy to harbor
taken by time’s tide

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